Mixed feeling~

I'm having mix feelings right now and also feeling a pinch in my heart when I know that I will be leaving soon. Would really and glad to leave the "hell" close to a year, but somehow I couldn't bear thinking that I will not see PJ for a very long time...

Initially I thought that my feelings for her had depleted til not much left all this while. But this is not the case, whenever we're out for outings...Am really enjoying her company without "A"s company of course...She's such a nice lady... although I hate it really much when she's not paying much attention for me...I know its just a small issue but....I really couldn't bear having that kind of feeling that way when i'm in the situation. My heart aches abit now....this love is impossible i know...but I've really enjoyed her company a lot... although its a "forbidden" love....she'll never love me....will never know that I care for her to this extent...

I can't blame anyone cept for myself for falling in love so easily but having no guts to confess...I made the correct decision this time.... PJ should not know about this... It is my problem / fault which I should rectify for my thinkings and action...

I will be strong this time....I will savour and appreciate all the nice things about her and my other colleagues, I shall appreciate the memories....

Last but not least, PJ i really care for you....Wishing you all the best in everything....and may you be happy with your boyfriend for eternity. I shall be strong for myself and to you...

With love,
Wai Keat