-Envious-

Just read what's was written on Eric's blog a couple of minutes ago. Reading the sad post of him rather unusual especially for a relatively tough and confident person like him..

The reading bought back some sad memories that I've never regret to have, humans learn from mistakes and I'm just like others ; learning from my "mistakes". Although I keep telling to myself that those chapters were past, some how I still cling on to it and can't do much except feeling sad and helpless restless inside of me... Somehow, I couldn't help but feeling envious for him...

At least he has tried, feeling the warmth of love, the feeling of cared by his loved ones and more importantly...gave love 100% and go for it in search of happiness. This is totally opposite of me where no actions were even taken by me...I didn't even put an effort except for moaning how "unlucky" of me to have met them later than their partner... how silly....after thinking about it. But what can I do? No matter how I tried, the efforts will only be useless or leading to more pain and grief in my life...

Maybe I am lying to myself with own point of view, but what can I do? I'm a really reserve person when it comes to many things....love in particular...

I really hope all this sorrows can be drowned by career and better, happiness?